From today onwards, i shall be no longer acquainted with any form of Christianity nor anything to do with Jesus Christ. I might add an apology behind that. But it causes a fcuking problem. A dent in my relationship.
Or maybe it is fated that i do not get a wonderful relationship yet?
Funny how fated sounds now. It reminds me of something. Those who know me will know wad Fate has to do with me. I was never a deep believer in fate. Until i asked myself the question just now. Is this all fate?

They say a man can change his fate if he wills and tries hard. Fate belongs to your own hands. But somehow, today, i feel, fate is already there for each and everyone of us. No matter how hard u try, u still cannot win fate.
I refused to believe in omens. Bad omens. Someone once said first 2 weeks of a relationship is the sweetest...The carving of names of rings. I refused. Refused to believe that.
But i was eventually forced to believe. Is history about to happen again?

I can only pour my deepest sorrow in here, in this blog because, there is no one i can turn to now.. No one to hear me.. My tears, has already stopped flowing. My glands can no longer produce tears anymore. Cried till there arent any left.
Eyes red and im having a fever right now. I'm so cold. and I'm tired.

I love you. You mean everything to me. Your messages and calls, your voice, you are everything. I can't live without you. But did you realise something? Am I worthy enough of your love?

I'm not going to have another relationship anymore. You, are going to be my last one. No more. I love you. I wished i can be by your side when you need me. But sometimes, I got my own limitations. I was "forced" to do things my mum asked me to do.

Do you understand how deep my love is for you? You are the only thing on my mind. I don't care if i got knocked down by a car on the road. I don't care if i got robbed or got struck by lightning. All i asked for, is a little bit of love from you. I walked from Ang Mo Kio back home. I looked in the mirror when i reached home and I realised how haggard i looked. Dragging my feet and eyes red and blinded by tears, i could hardly see a thing on my way back. I'm losing it. Breaking down.

Head feels light now. I'm going to sleep now. Take cares all.
PS: Oh yea.. Happy New Year guys.